Paul Revere by Cyrus Dallin, North End, Boston





The U.S. was just downgraded from a “Full” to “Flawed Democracy.”

You can thank President Porn-Star Shagger, the one who praised a murderous North Korean dictator and insulted our closest ally, Canada.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

How Shaw Became My Aunt

Recently, Malcolm asked me if Shaw is really my aunt.  So if any of you are wondering why I call her “Auntie Shaw,” here is the background:
Putting Myself Up for Adoption

The way natural birth or adoption works, children have no rights in choosing their own family. Since adults are the ones who make the decisions (or have an “oops”), you get what you get - for better or worse.

However, suppose it worked in reverse? Suppose children had the right to choose their parents, their family, their siblings? Trade in a doofus brother, for instance, for a more companionable roommate? One who shares your penchant for drawing murals on living room walls with crayons and magic markers? Or adopt a spirited sister who can dump a full box of laundry detergent into the washing machine and turn the house into a sudsy romper room? A sibling who conspires to leave on a faucet in the upstairs bath long enough to transform the staircase into a water slide?

Here is my problem. I am an only child and have never experienced the joys of growing up with a sibling. My mother was an only child too; hence I had no first cousins with freckles and pigtails. Better late than never, I say.

I have decided to take matters in hand and adopt a sister. I asked Sheria to be my sister, and she has agreed. So I am pleased to announce that henceforth and forevermore, Sheria is now my adopted sibling (and don't mess with my sister!).
When I posted this announcement, Shaw volunteered to be my aunt and make me worm sandwiches. So that is how Shaw became my aunt.

Recently, marine biologists were researching intelligence in cephalopods and placed a jar containing a crab into the octopus aquarium to see what would happen. Sure enough, the octopus untwisted the lid off the jar and devoured the crab. Don’t believe me?  Here is the YouTube video. Afterwards, the octopus twisted the lid back on the jar and winked at the researcher.


okjimm said...

Dear Octo.... how neat. Listen, if you feel like adding a second cousin...lemmee know.

Rational Nation USA said...

I and my brother actually adopted our mother legally. We gave her this ultimate gift of love on her 65th birthday and she became legally what she always was to us since our childhood, Our REAL mother.

The story is a long one and perhaps one day I shall do a blog post with the subject matter entitled "What it Means to Be a Mother."

So, it is not an absolute truism that "blood is thicker than water."

My you rest in peace Mom.

Truth 101 said...

Shaw digs it when I call her "sister" so that means ZI'm your uncle now Octo.

Now put those tentacles to good use and get old Uncle Joe a beer, will ya.

Octopus said...

Okay, then we are now henceforth and forevermore cousins. Do you like crustaceans?

Thank you for sharing a very heartwarming story. Would you like to adopt a wadical weft-wing cephalopod? A bit high maintenance at times but otherwise loads of fun.

So now you’re a cephalopod’s uncle? After you have your beer, may I have the bottle? I'd like to climb inside afterwards and take a nap.

Rational Nation USA said...

Well Octo, I'm okay with adopting a "wadical weft-wing cephalopod", it would provide us both with the opportunity to grow and expand our horizons.

Rational Nation USA said...

Oh, BTW, did I mention one of my favorite dishes is grilled Octopus sauteed in virgin olive oil with garlic and Portuguese seasonings? ;)

okjimm said...

//Do you like crustaceans?//

Well, I best. See, every morning I look in the mirror and think, "Howda I ever get to be such and old Crab!"

Octopus said...

RN: “… grilled Octopus sauteed in virgin olive oil with garlic and Portuguese seasonings …

Eating one’s adoptee will not grow and expand your horizons. Never take a cephalopod for pomegranate!

A cousin to a cephalopod can never be a crustacean. If anyone here is an old crab, it’s Truth 101. He claims to be my uncle. And RN thinks he’s a cannibal.

Truth 101 said...

Crab legs. Calimari. Dip em in clarified butter and they're all good.

S.W. Anderson said...

So, you can pick your relatives as well as your friends. Cool.

I wonder if Warren Buffett could use a nephew, or something. ;)

Pamela D. Hart said...

Octo: You couldn't have chosen a better person to be your "Auntie"!

Auntie's are fun, loving and pretty darn smart...Shaw has those traits and so many more!

dmarks said...

I'm sorry for your loss. This happened during a week in which I had not checked your blog, so I am quite late.

Malcolm said...

Thanks for the back story. Surprisingly, those worm sandwiches look like they may be tasty.