Michele Bachmann, the woman who will NEVER be president, won the Iowa straw poll on Saturday.
Wow! I'm so not impressed.
Other winners of Iowa's straw poll? Pat Robertson and Mike Huckabee.
The Borowitz Report gets it:
AMES, IOWA (The Borowitz Report) – Calling the results of today’s Iowa straw poll “alarming,” Standard and Poor’s took the unprecedented action of downgrading Iowa’s IQ.
While the effects of such an extraordinary measure are hard to predict, experts say the IQ downgrade could result in Iowans having difficulty completing sentences or operating a television remote.
“This downgrade would be very upsetting to Republicans in Iowa,” said an S & P spokesman.
“Fortunately, there’s no way they’ll understand it.”
The winner in the straw poll, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn), gave a rousing victory speech that was simulcast in English across the state.
But there may be tough sledding ahead for Rep. Bachmann, as a new poll shows her losing support to Texas Governor Rick Perry among voters who describe themselves as morons."
Late night jokes:
“Newsweek is taking heat for calling Michele Bachmann ‘The Queen of Rage.’ Michele says, ‘There’s only one raging queen in our household, and it’s not me.’” –Conan O’Brien
“‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ made $54 million this weekend. It’s about small-brained creatures who rise up and take over the Earth. First they form political groups called Tea Parties.” –Jay Leno
h/t Blue Mass. Group
Here's a song for the Queen of Straw: