Funny Stuff from 2013, Part II: A Book Review

Found on the internet in 2013:  





The Book:

How to Avoid Huge Ships


The title itself left me curious.  How many people need help in dealing with this particular matter?  Apparently lots of folks out there have gallantly faced this immense problem, and this book has been an immeasurable resource for them in their ongoing struggle to avoid huge ships.

The reviews:

A Parent's Review
By Noel D. Hill
Format: Paperback

As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I'm sure other parents here can empathize when I say I shudder at the thought of the increasing presence of huge ships in the lives my children. I certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships. The long inter-continental voyages that kept my mom and dad up all night with worry. Don't even get me started on the international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was even younger than my kids are now! huge ships are everywhere and it doesn't help that the tv and movies make huge ships seem glamorous and cool. This book helped me really approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest and non judgmental way. Because of the insights this book provided, I can sleep a little better and cope with the reality that I can't always be there to protect my kids from huge ships, especially as they become adults. I'm confident that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make wiser decisions than I did. At the very least my children certainly know that they can always come to me if they have any concerns, questions or just need my support when it comes to the topic of huge ships.



Reads like a whodunnit!
By Citizenfitz
Format: Paperback

I bought How to Avoid Huge Ships as a companion to Captain Trimmer's other excellent titles: How to Avoid a Train, and How to Avoid the Empire State Building. These books are fast paced, well written and the hard won knowledge found in them is as inspirational as it is informational. After reading them I haven't been hit by anything bigger than a diesel bus. Thanks captain!



Urgent information
By J Aubrey
Format: Paperback

Does anyone know of a book called 'How to avoid huge ice bergs'? I need an answer really, really quick!

Cpt. Edward Smith

 ***Message delayed due to weather conditions***



Large beamed, please!
By Altair Voyager
Format: Paperback

I am a huge ship. Imagine having an entire book devoted toward actively avoiding you and your kind. I have always been bigger than other ships - and yes, I have endured years of being moared in the distance, never being able to enter the shallower bays, requiring tugs to guide me in - but now THIS! Mr. Trimmer, you sir, should be ashamed! Please do not be swayed by his drivel. I ask that you judge me not by the size of my cargo hatch but rather the content of my wheelhouse.



Caution: Check the title before purchase
By Graham Thomas
Format: Paperback

I live near a park and frequently walk around the local area. Given the amount of dog mess that is on the pavements I thought this book would be the ideal read to stop me having to scrape my shoes on the grass before going home. It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realised it said 'How to Avoid Huge SHIPS'. A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement. Having said that, I read the book anyway, and I'm pleased to say I'm not even having near misses with huge ships anymore. No sir, they aint getting anywhere near me!



And this one appears to have been inspired by a certain half-term governor from Alaska:

 Wake Up, Haters! 
By Madeleine B. 
Format: Paperback 

I'm a little annoyed with the sarcastic "reviewers" of this book. You all seem to think it's funny that some people would honestly like some expert advice on ways to avoid huge ships. What, you've never been traveling at a very, very slow speed straight toward something really, really big that you could see for miles and miles away, and wished you'd known what steps you could take to avoid crashing into it? Well, all I can say is "congratulations!" What's it like to be so perfect? You haters just keep on enjoying your huge-ship-collision-free little fantasies. I for one am going to buy this book and learn something, because I live in the real world, where huge ships and the dangers they present to people like me are actually a serious issue.