Oh, hai everyone! Did you know President Obama is a SECRET! Muslim? Yesh! The Righties in their tightie whities have been telling us all about this SECRET for years.
If everyone knows Obummer/Obongo is a SECRET Muslim, how is it a SECRET?
If everyone knew this SECRET Muslim was a Muslim (living in OUR WHITE HOUSE, by golly!), why did the American people vote for him TWICE! OMG! It MUST be because the American people are STUPID! That explains EVERYTHING!!!!!
Can you believe it?! Now, let's look at the amazing evidence these super sleuths have dug up from the bowels of the intertubz so that every red, white, and blue American will know the real honest-to-apple-pie truth about the usurping, Kenyan, Marxist, Commie, America (AND FRENCH!)-hater. And boy-o do they have the goods on this SECRET Muslim.
Let's start with this unbelievably Muslim-loving quote by Barry Soetoro HUSSEIN Obama:
Are you kidding me!? He said that? OMERGERD! That proves it! Wow! How could we red, white, and blue Americans have been so blind. I mean look! the proof is right in front of us!
Wait. What? That's not the whole quote? That's only part of what the Righties in the tightie whities spread around the intertubz to make it look like PBO is a Muslim?
Noooooooooooo! What kind of scummy liars would do such a thing?! What's the REAL quote?
"The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam. But to be credible, those who condemn that slander must also condemn the hate we see in the images of Jesus Christ that are desecrated, or churches that are destroyed, or the Holocaust that is denied."
Oops! That doesn't say what the Tightie Whitie Righties want you, you gullible little stack of pancakes, to believe, does it.
What? There's more?
That's awful! I mean, doesn't that make your eyes bleed when you read it! And just look at the turban Hussein Obama is wearing. Doesn't that prove he's a Muslim, even though, y'know, it's the style of a turban more likely to be found on a Sikh's head rather than on a Muslim's. But I digress. The important thing to know is that Hussein Obama said "I will stand with the Muslims...!"
Wait! That's not the whole quote either? Whaaa?
Misleading e-mail: From Audacity of Hope: "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction."
Actual quote from "The Audacity of Hope" [pg. 261]:
"Of course, not all my conversations in immigrant communities follow this easy pattern. In the wake of 9/11, my meetings with Arab and Pakistani Americans, for example, have a more urgent quality, for the stories of detentions and FBI questioning and hard stares from neighbors have shaken their sense of security and belonging. They have been reminded that the history of immigration in this country has a dark underbelly; they need specific assurances that their citizenship really means something, that America has learned the right lessons from the Japanese internments during World War II, and that I will stand with them should the political winds shift in an ugly direction."
Obama did not say he would side with "the Muslims," which could easily be read as meaning he would side with the world’s Muslim population even if it meant working outside the best interests of the United States.
He said he would side with "them," referring back to his mention of immigrant communities and specifically to "Arab and Pakistani Americans." Furthermore, he was speaking of an "ugly direction" like the mass internment of Japanese Americans.
So what are we supposed to think here, guys? Did the SECRET Muslim, Barack Hussein Obama, really say the future doesn't belong to those who slander the prophet and that he'd stand with the Muzzies?
Well, actually, no!
But...but...the emails and images going around the intertubz all say he DID!
Does that mean that the people who copy and paste these images into their blogs are a bunch of ugly, hateful, malignant, character-assassinating mountbanks, willing to spread lies in order to slander the blah in the White House?
Well, maybe they're not all ugly. Some may even have all of their teeth.