Monday, January 26, 2015
The Northeast is bracing itself for historic winter storm, Juno.
America is bracing herself for historic looney tunes from some of the Tea Party's greatest clowns as the 2016 presidential contest begins:
First, we hear from one of the Tea-Pee-ers' perennial goofballs, Donald "My People in Hawaii Are Finding Amazing Things About Obama's Birth Certificate!" Trump:
Trump Keeps Trolling: I Woulda Beaten Obama, Might Run In 2016
Sure, sure, Mr. Purty Lips, you coulda been a contenda! All 200 of your biggest fans are urging you to throw that dead squirrel you wear on your head into the ring and declare your candidacy. You've got the rugmentum! Go for it Donny boy! And pay no attention to this guy.
Next, we have John McCain's greatest gift to America's political cartoonists and comedy shows, the ex-half-term governor of Alaska and matriarch of the drunken brawlin' Palin clan, Sarah "I Can See The Presidency From My House, AGAIN!" Palin.
She recently appeared at the Iowa Freedom Summit and apparently lost her notes as well as had the misfortune of having her teleprompter malfunction (yes, the little lady who makes fun of Obama using a teleprompter uses a teleprompter). So with nothing more than her wits and soaring rhetorical skills, Sistah Sarah gave an impromptu speech, and she killed it! The English language, that is. But we expect nothing less than that when Palin opens her mouth and a tornado of sounds blunderingly spin their way into the room, enveloping her listeners in a vortex of nouns, verbs and "lamestream media."
Mrs. Palin's speechifying speech stunned the DNC whose spokesperson had only two words to say after her dizzying performance: "Thank you."
Yes. And thank you, again, John McCain, for giving the nascent Tea Partiers, way back when, an astounding political phenom whom they continue to pin their hopes, dreams, and dollars on, believing that it is she, and no one else, who will deliver the White House to the GOP Yes, thank-you, and here's looking at you, Louie Gohmert, I understand Mrs. Palin sees you as nicely balancing her ticket: "Looney and Loonier."
From Liberals United, here are some of Mrs. Palin's droppings:
“The man can only ride you when your back is bent. So strengthen it! Then the man can’t ride you. America won’t get taken for a ride, because so much is at stake."
“What will they do to stop causing our pain, and start feeling it again?
“Now I’m ready for Hillary Are you? Are you coming?” “Now the press asks, the press asks, “Can anyone stop Hillary?” Again, this is to forego a conclusion, right? It’s to scare us off, to convince us that – a pantsuit can crush patriots?”
“Knowing what the media will do throughout 2016 to all of us, it’s going to take more than a village to beat Hillary…We the people, we realize that this is war, as I say, it is war for the solvency, the sovereignty of the United States of America. And we don’t sit on our thumbs this next time when one of our own is being crucified and falsely accused of whatever the hip activation of the day happens to be, right? Racism, sexism, whatever. Really, it’s kind of Orwellian observing how that works, that rule of Saul Alinsky’s I suppose, that the left employs. Disgusting charges from the left. You know, reverse them. It is they who point a finger who don’t realize they have triple that number of fingers pointing right back at them, revealing that they are the ones who really discriminate and divide.”
From Andrew Sullivan's blog:
In Roger Simon’s words, the clown car became the clown van. The crowd egged on the far right to go further over the edge. The one candidate who might begin to appeal to more than the base – Bush – was a no-show. By all accounts, Scott Walker gave a bravura performance, which may be the only salient thing to last once the vapors have lifted (and he’s worth watching). But to have so many wackos deliver such red meat to a far right base – with Palin and The Donald delivering random strips of steak tartare – is not a basis for appealing to the broader middle any major party has to, if it wants to govern and not merely scream.
The Palin speech was truly a wonder – an Allan Ginsburg-style Republican “Howl”. I know that with respect to her, I’m an alcoholic who shouldn’t go near a bar – but I couldn’t help myself. Watching the stream of narcissistic, delusional consciousness was like downing three shots of Jäger at once. And there were times when it seemed as if she’d done the same thing (just pick any three minutes at random).