Paul Revere by Cyrus Dallin, North End, Boston

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Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hello God? It's me, Herman. And Rick. And Rick. And Michele.

And we're all so happy we had this nice little talk, Y'know, the one where You told each one of us that we should run for president?

But we just had a thought.  Didn't you once say "Many are called, but few are chosen?"

So...

Who will it be?

And we're kinda, like...excuse me?  But did You have to talk to those others and tell them to run too?  Wasn't one of us enough to earn Your Very Omnipotent, Very Celestial Endorsement?  Did You really have to tell all four of us we should run? 

It's all so confusing for us, since we thought that sharing this Divine Revelation with our supporters and the "lamestream media" would surely give us the Godmentum we need to pull past that other guy, (y'know, the one with the wrong religion.) 

Speaking of which, who was it who said that when popes and bishops hear You "speaking" to them, that's Divine Revelation, but when "just folks" hear Your voice, that's schizophrenia?

Could You get back to us on this?  We desperately want to know which of us You will anoint as "The One," and we're running out of End Times.

Thanks.

Later,

Rick Santorum

Michele Bachmann

Rick Perry

Herman Cain

5 comments:

Infidel753 said...

Hello God? It's me, Herman. And Rick. And Rick. And Michele.

I think you mean, "Hello God, it's Herman, and Michelle, and, uh, the other one, uh.....oops....."

Or maybe that's it. If Rick Perry is a man created in the image of God, maybe God has the same memory problems, and kept forgetting he'd already told someone to run.

That would explain quite a lot, actually.

Leslie Parsley said...

Hah,hah,hah! If they're all hearing voices, they're all nuts. Right?

Rational Nation USA said...

LMAO! I must say Shaw, you out did yourself with this one.

I'm glad you didn't include my man and Huntsman in your list :)

Shaw Kenawe said...

Infidel753, you've brought up a very good point, and have offered us an excellent explanation for Rick Perry's embarrassing performances.

Perhaps Ben and Jerry's should offer a new flavor: Divine Brain Freeze. It would be a lumpy, grayish ice cream with a lot of it missing.

Leslie,

I'm truly astonished that we Americans don't question people who tell us gods talk to them and tell them what to do. What if a non-Christian, say a Muslim, ran for public office and announced that Allah told her to do so. What do you suppose the reaction would be?

RN,

I don't agree with a lot of Paul's and Huntsman's ideas, but I doubt they'd be silly enough to claim a supernatural being spoke to them and told them to run for the presidency.

Anonymous said...

LOL!