Paul Revere by Cyrus Dallin, North End, Boston

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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

GOD, GUNS, AND BOBBY


In his rush to out-Heston Heston and establish his bona fides as a 2nd Amendment Keeper of the Purity Flame of Gun Oath Keepers [and as a potential Republican candidate for President of the USofA], the governor of Louisiana, Piyush "Bobby" Jindal, has signed into law a measure that will allow god-fearin', Jesus-lovin' church men and women to become pistol packin' Presbyterians


Yep.

After communal prayers, readings from the Holy Bible, and heavenly hymns, if Brother Huck and Sister Sarah want to shoot a round for Jesus, Piyush has said it is their God-given 2nd Amendment right to do so! Praise Jaysus!

What better place than the House of God is there to introduce a weapon, a handgun for Chrissake! whose only purpose is to allow a steel object to rip into flesh and bone, Oh wait, people own guns TO PRACTICE TARGET SHOOTING! and to protect themselves from trrrrrrists, and to feel that cold hard steel in their soft fleshy palms. Yeah Baby! And God knows there are passels of trrrrists to be found in a House of Worship where Hallelujah! will be heard between choruses of "REACH FOR THE SKIES!"

It's the Wild West in the Crazy South, bruthas and sistahs. Just gimme that ole time religion with the bread, the wine, the guns, and Bible thumping all mixed in with the Rapture and the Lake of Fire.


There'll be a hot time in God's House tonight!

YeeeeeeeeHAW!

And a big h/t to exDLB for Beat Farmers' "The Gun Sale at the Church."

15 comments:

Octopus said...

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are the Unitarian Jihad. There is only one God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

dbackdad said...

Wow. That's just about perfect. At least any pretense of reality is being abandoned. I always think when the Right gets this nutty that it will be the last straw that clues everyone else in to how ridiculous they are. But, then something new and nutty comes up.

At least it won't personally affect me having guns in church. I'd actually have to step into a church for that to occur. :-)

magpie said...

The American gun culture is one of the most impenetrable aspects of life in the US.

No mass-murder is too horrific, no appeal to common sense too basic, no statistic too damning... that gun-lovers cannot nonetheless insist that the only way forward is for more people to have guns.

Guns are a plague, and the playthings of cowards, created for the solitary purpose of giving a moment's mad irrationality life-ending force. Nearly three times as many Americans are slain by firearms - every year - than died on 9/11.

The J Mopper said...

Perhaps this bill is designed to protect church going members from the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its non-traditional teachings.

If it ever shows up during a church service then the heat-packing congregation can "communicate" with it by the only means they know how...bang, bang, bang!

Anonymous said...

I'm ok with it as long as they shoot each other.

Shaw Kenawe said...

(O)CT(O)PUS:

That was hysterical and a much needed antidote to the Jindal madness.

dbackdad,

We know they're insane, and this only adds more proof.

magpie,

I recently read that a majority of the members of the NRA are for NOT allowing terrorists to purchase guns--which the NRA favors. That seems a no-brainer, right? But the NRA favors allowing known terrorists to purchase guns.

This is a definition of insanity if I ever knew one. The NRA is in business to support the gun business. Period. They are a pox on this country--pure evil.

J Mopper,

It was just a matter of time before this happened. I wonder if there is a prohibition on allowing Uzis in church. How about rocket launchers? They're "protected" under the god-give 2nd amendment arent' they?

WWJS? Who Would Jesus Shoot?

Anon,

LOL! Seriously, no one wishes death by guns, but this law sure does encourage wackos. In a way, though, the law may encourage efficiency. One could shoot to kill a perceived "enemy of the State" and have the funeral right there in the church without missing a beat.

TOM said...

I usually hate the phrase; What would Jesus do/say?

Yet, I would ask theses loony tune religious fanatics that question.

Would Jesus approve of bringing weapons of death into his fathers church? do you need a weapon of death, to pray?

We decry the Muslim religious fanatic who carries his gun for his God, yet these idiots do the same thing and believe it is totally different.

I believe in and defend the right to own a gun.

I do not believe in and will criticize those who have no better manners than to think it is just fine to bring their gun to church, a public political meeting, or a speech given by the President of the United States.

White, red-neck, trailer-trash manners. These are the highest manners? This is the kind of behavior to be considered a good America? BULLSHIT !

Sue said...

I love Toms point, These right wing gunlovinnuts are no different than the terrorists they fear and hate. Isn't it ironic the gun owning righties have guns to protect them against THEMSELVES. I don't understand the fear they live with on a daily basis, they really are demented.

Anonymous said...

I can see it now - someone drops a Bible and it makes a big boom sound.


Then some handjob stands up and draws his gun, ready to "save the church."
Then other armed handjobs see "an armed gunman" so they open fire
and the headline reads, "22 people shot at local Church."

tnlib said...

Onward Christian Soldiers . . .

ex DLB said...

And here I assumed it was already legal, at least in the South. Nice link from Octo. Here's some Beat Farmers for dessert.

Shaw Kenawe said...

ex DLB,

Thanks for that. I've linked to the vid at the bottom of my post.

That was great!

TRUTH 101 said...

Oh Jesus! You mean I've been bringing my AK47 to church all these years and up to now it's been illegal?

I do make my kids go. I just figured it a good deterrent if the priest knows I don't mess around with child molesters.


I might start going to Octo's church though. It looks like a place we can all find the answeres we're looking for.

ex DLB said...

Thanks Shaw, those guys play some good old-fashioned rock and roll.

Truth, we're all going over to Reppy's church. It's for nihilists, humanists and secular progs. It's weapons optional. I may convert from Druidism.

TRUTH 101 said...

Huh. I was thinking Druidism may be my ultimate home religion. I've always wanted to see Stonehenge and fake human sacrifice as well as solemn orgies interest me as well.