It's Sunday morning. The coffee's strong, Mike's Pastry muffins are chockful of fat juicy blueberries, Mozart is playing on the radio and just before I tackle the New York Times Sunday crossword, I read this over at the Orange Satan, dailykos:
"...a quick look at the Republicans exploring the possibility of running against him should give us all reason to be optimistic.
Here they are, in alphabetical order:
Michele Bachmann: Fact-challenged kook.
Haley Barbour: Fat cat civil rights revisionist.
John Bolton: Mustachioed menace.
Herman Cain: African-American. Enough said.
Mitch Daniels: Cheese-eating surrender monkey.
Newt Gingrich: Unlikeable, amoral flip-flopper.
Mike Huckabee: Culture-warring colonialist.
John Huntsman: Obama's favorite Mormon.
Fred Karger: Openly gay. Enough said.
Sarah Palin™: Jew for Jesus. ;)
Dr. Ron Paul or Dr. Rand Paul*: The gold standard of crazy.
Tim Pawlenty: Action movie zero.
Mitt Romney: Unnuanced pander bear.
Rick Santorum: Google him.
Donald Trump: Megalomaniacal birther.
But the one stealth candidate that Mr. Obama should be exceedingly wary of is an unknown GOPer:
Karab Amabo!
He's the Republican Party's DREAM CANDIDATE, an answer to their prayers for taking back the White House in 2012.
Here's how Bill Maher describes this amazing GOP presidential challenger:
"...let me tell you about Karab Amabo. Amabo would be our first home schooled president, and the first in his family to ever not graduate high school. After flunking out of bartending school, he spent years disorganizing communities, and wrote two books: A memoir, "Dreams From My Food Court", and a policy book, "Thinking Is For Dummies." And what are his policies? Karab Amabo believes we should increase our dependency on foreign oil and shrink the size of government until it performs only the most basic functions: killing Arabs, paying farmers to grow corn, and probing people at airports.”
He continued, “Karab Amabo believes that abortion should be illegal, especially in case of rape or incest, and he is so pro-life his slogan is "Life Begins at Erection."
Karab Amabo pledges to repeal the job killing health care bill and to implement Amabocare, a comprehensive program that gives uninsured people with pre-existing conditions a chance to walk it off.
Temperamentally, Karab Amabo believes that America has had enough of no drama Obama and his measured Vulcan logic, and at the first sign of crisis Amabo will pray, scream, shit his pants, and fly Air Force One into a mountain.”
Maher moved on to First Lady Amabo and family, “And what of the Amabo family? Karab Amabo’s wife is a sour, ashen midget whose flaccid arms are so weak she can barely do her job operating the deep fryer at the Jack In The Box. The Amabos and their two sons go to church every four hours, and they have a meth lab where the White House garden used to be.”
Bill Maher concluded, “And perhaps the most important thing to understand about Karab Amabo is he’s not exotic or worldly or smart. He just loves America so much that when he says the Pledge of Allegiance, he not only puts his right hand over his heart, he salutes with his left hand, and makes the sign of the cross with his foot, which, admit it folks, is pretty hard to do.”
Be afraid; be very afraid!
Remember, you heard it here:
The GOP's candidate for 2012:
Karab Amabo. "Life Begins at Erection!"
UPDATE:
From Josh Marshall's Talking Points Memo:
34 comments:
Yep, they are a bunch aren't they?
Huntsman could be a threat but he will never get found amongst that group.
The reality is that the Republican powers that be are not going to invest time and money into the 2012 Presidential election but rather put their money into winning a majority in the senate and taking over control of state government.
On the other hand the democrats will have to spend money to support Obama and as they will have considerably less money due to the Citizens decision they will not be able to defend the battle for senate seats and for control of state houses.
So, the best the democrats can hope for is a 1 win, 1 loss, and 1 tie while the Republicans can achieve 2 win, 1 loss.
The democrats need to accept that in politics, if you don't have money you have to resort to guerilla tactics...but that would involve herding cats.
We will focus on the crazies on the national level and won't even notice the senate and state house crazies that they will run...
So, Shaw, after you bash one for being fact-challenged, another for revising civil rights history, and a third one for his moustache, you bash one for being African-American....
dmarks,
First, you didn't read carefully. The list of Hopefuls came from the dailykos, not me.
Second, you have no sense of humor.
PS. dmarks,
Where's the A.A. "bashing," exactly????
Can I divide my vote amongst a few, there are just TOO many GOOD ones to choose! **sarcasm**
"Life Begins at Erection". LOL You know, there is a element of truth in that statement. Instead of outlawing abortion, maybe republicans should outlaw erections.
OK, Jerry.
You are now responsible for the coffee that shot out of my nose and sprayed all over my keyboard!
Pam,
YOU would be better than the candidates that are on that list!
TAO,
Very well put. Thanks.
If you actually go to Daily Kos and click on each link you just cannot help but get really excited over all the possible match ups!
Oh, and before I forget, while at daily kos click on the like "jew" for Sarah Palin...I mean she is now into rapper jewelry?
You got the religious bunch going to go after the gay guy who in turn has been a 30 year veteran of republican dirty tricks and he wants to go after the mormons for their opposition to section 8.
Then you got the black guy and the mississippi governor...
I can't wait for Trump and Bolton to try to out "bad ass" each other...
These won't be debates but the beginning of the highest rated reality series on televsion!
Lets start a pool...who will be the first to climb over their podium and hit someone else?
Wagers anyone?
How about a wager on the Romney's hair...can any brawl actually cause his hair to come undone?
Amabo but but but... I heard he was born in Clevelandistan.....??? Don't you have to be born in America.... I wanna see the certificate. Just saying.
Shaw: I hate it when others read quoted stuff and assume it was the blogger's. Well, I did it myself! OOPS!
You are right on the first. But on the second, when is bashing someone for being African-American funny?
"Where's the A.A. "bashing," exactly????"
It's buried in between such pejoratives as kook, menace, fat cat, monkey, amoral, zero, and others.
Maher didn't come up with who Amabo would choose as his vp.
It would, of course, have to be someone who is the complete opposite of Joe Biden. Someone with years and years of experience, a solid knowledge of foreign policy and able to talk intelligently aout it.
Wait for it...
Karab Amabo/Haras Nilap!
You mean it is not Eoj Nedib?
dmarks,
This is what the daily kos posted on Herman Cain:
Herman Cain: African-American. Enough said.
The link on the dailykos is to an interview with Cain and the E-zine "Root."
There was no Cain bashing whatsoever.
Do you actually believe "enough said" is "bashing?'
If so, please explain how that is.
I believe that "enough said" means that now that the Democrats helped elect the country's first A.A. president, the GOP is falling all over itself to catch up. See Michael Steele who has been in the Republican Party for years and years and years, but it was only after Obama was elected that the GOP decided Steele should be the head of the RNC.
And only after Obama was elected would Cain believe he could be taken seriously as a presidential candidate by the GOP.
No, Jerry, the vp has to be someone the complete opposite of Joe B.
Haras Nilap, who by the way is a woman, is the complete opposite in sex and qualifications.
I agree, Shaw. Haras is the complete opposite.
as an outsider peering in, the list of candidates is quite comical at first glance but it quickly becomes a nightmare when thinking about what is at stake.
i have a soft spot for the huckabee / chuck norris dynamic duo.
"...See Michael Steele who has been in the Republican Party for years and years and years,...."
Much more than a hint here of those conservative blogs that bash Obama for his race.
dmarks,
You're being obtuse.
I'm pointing out that Michael Steele has been in the GOP for years and years and years, and yet not until the Democrats elected an A.A. president did the GOP discover that Steele could be in a leadership position.
That is not bashing.
That's pointing out pandering on the part of the GOP.
What a bizarre list.
I'm seriouisly thinking of running for president on the republican ticket Ms. Kenawe.
I seem to have been pissing off a number of our liberal thinking friends lately. Might as well go all the way.
"That is not bashing."
Well, if not for Steele's skin color, you wouldn't be making these conjectures at all. There are plenty of things to bash... ahem....criticize him about without criticizing him for being African-American.
Shaw: If I hadn't done so many "bad" things as a youngster, I'd run for some political office, and while I could handle the press, I wouldn't dare put my family through the mud slinging. And thanks, at least I'm not the only one who thinks I'm smarter than some on that list!
Yada, Yada, Yada...
When all is said and done will it really make a difference?
Likely not.
But tell Octo {Squidman} or he will delete my comment.
Good grief, dmarks. If anyone is being bashed, it's the GOP leadership for selecting Steele just BECAUSE of the color of his skin.
But never mind.
Wow! Talk about bashing, dmarks, here's a guy who is blatant about it, Herman Cain.
Speaking at a GOP gathering in Iowa on Saturday, Cain said this:
"Talking to reporters afterwards, Cain also said he thinks the imposition of Islamic Sharia law is a legitimate threat in America and that he would not appoint any Muslims to any positions in his Cabinet if he were elected."
Now imagine if he were to substitute the word "Jews" for the word "Muslims," and think about how that would have been received.
"...[Cain stated] he would not appoint any Jews to any positions in his Cabinet if he were elected."
He appears to be a big time religion basher. But apparently the Tea Partiers think it's okay to hate on Muslims and run for the presidency.
Cain is NOT presidential material, even if he does throw his rotten red meat to the base.
What a disgrace.
If Cain got anywhere, it would be because voters chose him. Which would make him as much an "Affirmative Action President" as Obama is. Which is, not at all.
Anyway, hear hear on Ron Paul.
Ron Paul wants to strip a lot of US citizens of citizenship because of crimes supposedly committed by their parents. And he think that the 14th Amendment to the Constitution says whatever he wants it to say, whether or not it contradicts the actual text.
Did he name his son after Ayn Rand or something?
"[Cain] appears to be a big time religion basher. But apparently the Tea Partiers think it's okay to hate on Muslims and run for the presidency."
Wow. You know my views on Muslims, as I've said them here several times in the past. I have several Muslim friends, and have nothing against the faith (only against terrorists and extremists such as Hamas, CAIR, Hesbollah, Iran regime, etc).
This is more like the Republican Hopeless. The GOP has painted itself into an ideological corner. The only way to survive the primaries is to play to the fringe elements of their base and there is no way a candidate who does that will appeal to independents.
On her last day with the company on Friday, I was talking with a colleague who happens to be a Republican. We started talking politics and she admitted the field of GOP presidential candidates is a mess. One thing I’ve always respected about her is that she thinks rationally and is not a partisan clown who’s reluctant to call out members of her party when they are wrong. I’m afraid she is becoming a rarity these days.
This list of hopefuls just demonstrates how dry the Republican well is and might indicate that those decent Republicans who may still be out there aren't interested in representing a party gone crazy. At the same time, I don't think we can afford to get too smug or complacent.
tn's right. Romney, the bland guy who harasses people by telephone, could pull ahead of the pack. He's got the hair for it.
You also can't rule out any of these Republicans getting a boost from the Obama 2012 campaign being damaged by a hard-left candidate opposing Obama the Libya war or other issues.
Those are the choices? Can I vote for the Mike's Pastry muffin?
"African-American. Enough said" is not "bashing". It's pointing out that Republican primary voters are unlikely to support Cain for that reason.
""African-American. Enough said" is not "bashing". It's pointing out that Republican primary voters are unlikely to support Cain for that reason."
Which was the same argument some Democrats used against choosing Obama before his nomination as Presidential candidate.
And it's ultimately racist, really, and the real target is an African-American, and because of his skin color.
And let's look closer at this statement:
"It's pointing out that Republican primary voters are unlikely to support Cain for that reason."
So, do you really believe that Republican voters did not choose candidate Alan Keyes over GWB in 2000 because Keyes was black?
And why did Republican voters a while back choose African-American Bill Lucas over the other guys (all white) to run against Democratic governor Jim Blanchard?
The stated reasons fall flat: the original article was bashing Cain for his race, and nothing else.
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