Paul Revere by Cyrus Dallin, North End, Boston





Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Well this is amusing...

I didn't have a post ready for today, because I'm busy with other things, so I didn't plan anything to replace the post below.  But when I went to my email account this AM I found the following, which I posted below.  Apparently it's a blast email going around, and it is hilarious. We need some fun. Read this and laugh:

A letter from Donald J. Trump:

 Dear Americans:

Your country needs two people at the helm who care about her, care about her constitution, and care about you and your family. However, let me point out right now that I shouldn’t be one of them, since I didn’t even know how many articles there are in the U.S. Constitution when I blathered out I would defend Article XII, and when I verbally raped the Constitution by calling for a religious test for people entering the United States, and when I suggested a national registry for a religion I don’t like. So there’s that.

Your country deserves to be making products here again, but don’t look to me for leadership on this issue, since I’ve been outsourcing my men’s wear products to China and Mexico, using foreign workers to keep my profits up, costs down, and me rich – well richer. 

The ridiculous notion of looking down on the rich and expecting them to carry our load is wrong and it’s dangerous, for them, obviously.  The rich hire, the rich buy, the rich, the corporations that go off-shore to avoid paying taxes, the producers in this country that manufacture overseas any time they can to drive down costs and drive up profits are thriving and only the top 1% share in that success. But I digress.  

YOU should thrive!  But you have to work hard and expect the best, not the worst for yourselves.  You need promise, you need true hope and a light at the tunnel that’s become dimmed these last few years, probably because you haven’t been able to afford to replace the light bulbs on your $7.50/hour minimum wage, which we rich Republicans believe should not only stay at $7.50/hour, but I myself, Donald J. Trump, believe there should be NO MINIMUM WAGE, so that poor people can more easily be exploited, and rich people, like me – and I’m really, really rich – can get richer off of their cheap, cheap labor -- that's if I decide to pay them at all!  Ha.

We need a country again whose people don’t turn to drugs because they see no future, but I’m afraid we’ll have a country that is drowning in drugs because it cannot imagine living with me as its president! We need a country that supports our kids’ learning the Pledge, and never being allowed to sit down during it, because nothing instills “love of country” like forcing a child, with threat of punishment, to swear allegiance to it. 

We must make our children learn all the tremendous goodness of America with honest discussions of her less than stellar things like slavery, Native American genocide, anti-Semitism, anti-Chinese workers, anti-labor, anti-Irish, anti-Italian, anti-women’s suffrage, anti-Catholic, anti-gay, anti-Muslim – those things – but only at age appropriate times.   God knows we don’t want to traumatize the children by telling them the truth about our country. Give them a nice sugary soda and some chips and wait until they’re, maybe 30 or 40 to learn our “exceptional” history.

Ask yourselves why our kids are killing other kids and ask yourselves why we blame the guns instead of the "you know -- dog whistle here -- what sort of families who raised kids who can even conceive of killing another!  We had a chance with our first Black president to hear him tell all kids, but particularly our at-risk black kids who need guidance, but not the white kids who slaughtered dozens of Americans in theaters, churches, schools, and shopping malls.  Yeah. We know both President Obama and Mrs. Obama have talked to the black community and all communities about doing the best they can in school, but we Republicans choose to pretend they never did, that’s why, as I write this poorly written letter, I continue the noble Republican tradition of lying to you, hoping you won’t fact check anything I say.

We are pro woman! Especially me!  Why else would I have married three times, and impregnated my 2nd wife while still married to my first wife, and bragged about many great affairs with married women all my life (and isn’t that a great role model for the black and white community!) Isn't that proof that I'm pro-women. But only if they're 10s and have large breasts because as I've said, you can't be a 10 if your boobs are small.  Pro-boobs means pro women in my book!  

Most of my executives at the Trump Foundation are women who report to men, and don’t believe what you hear from the media when they say otherwise!  We are also pro health care and we’ll fight to keep it affordable, going slowly to massage and tweak what’s worked and getting rid of what has not worked, like Obama Care! Because when we “get rid of” Obama Care, there’s nothing there to “massage and tweak!” Ha-ha! Hope you don’t notice that!

This country deserves to make its own energy, and under President Obama, we have become more energy independent than ever before! We have the ability to BRING OIL HOME and we can.   The Left denounced our country for going into Iraq and taking the oil.  We never did that, even though I said we should. But why shouldn’t we have taken the oil from people we fought hard for, lost precious soldiers for, spent billions of dollars for? Isn’t that what conquering imperialist armies do for Godsake! I’m going to change this attitude.  Why doesn’t America deserve anything and all IT can get? Isn’t that the thinking of conquering imperialist nations! Hail Caesar! Haha!    

And if anybody doesn’t think weather’s changing, they’re dumb.  Weather changes.  Of course it does. And most intelligent people understand the difference between weather and climate – I say most, but not the people in our quaint little Republican Party and that's why they love it when I say Climate Change is a HOAX! that was dreamed up by China! And my supporters love when I tell them that stupid lie. But we need to go slowly and methodically to explain things to them so that they can see what’s going on and what we can do.  But remember we have to go slowly, so that they will eventually “understand.”

We need a president that the world will respect and, yes, FEAR.  Fear isn’t a word we like to say anymore, but we're gonna make it an American value again, like we made the word GREED an American value!  But people have to understand that we’re fighting an enemy who operates solely on fear and we have to fight back with the same punch in the face! Or better, stronger, more long lasting, FINAL -- DEATH is final! So Kill Them All!  Yes!  We want to KILL them AND THEIR FAMILIES or anyone they speak to, TORTURE THEM! Not just with pussy waterboarding either! We need to bring back the Iron Maiden, The Breast Ripper, The Tongue Tearer, The Rack, burn them ALIVE! KILL! We want to become savage, blood curdling beasts just like them! That’s how we’ll be respected and FEARED. Believe me! We aren’t going to put up with foreign terrorists anymore.  We're gonna be just like them and make the world FEAR the USA! USA! USA!

And WHY SHOULDN'T WE? What kind of a leader sees Islamist radicals killing all over the world and decides we need more Muslims here?  And for that matter, why let anyone who isn’t a Christian in this beautiful welcoming “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses” country? We need to SLIME the dirty Muslims, like good Americans! Kick 'em out! Kill 'em! Hate! Hate! Hate! That'll make America GREAT!

We will build a wall and we’ll make the MEXICANS PAY FOR IT!   As your Progressives would like you to believe, that supposedly means we hate.  TWO OF MY THREE WIVES were immigrants, white eastern European immigrants– not dark-skinned kind who come from Mexico, Central and South America.  America was built with the blood and sweat of white immigrants and black and brown slaves, we need immigrants, but not slaves! Ha! We need proud immigrants like those of older days, who came here thrilled to be AMERICANS, not to bring their culture here because Jiminy Crackers, who wants their culture?! Who wants spaghetti and pizza? Who wants St. Paddy’s Day parades?! Who wants Cinco de Mayo?! Who wants Kwanza or weird Indian restaurants or Polish sausages?! German Oktoberfests?! Nein! And what about those awful French who celebrate July 14 HERE IN AMERICA!!!!! While eating FRENCH FRIES!!!!!!! Who wants alien cultures like that to impose themselves on our beloved country that was settled by English, Scottish, German and, we hate to say, the Irish    That’s not going to work in America;  NOT WHILE I’M IN CHARGE. Nein! as my immigrant ancestors would say!

There are many things this country needs but the absolutely most important thing is PRIDE IN AMERICA again. Not equal rights for all our citizens, not equal opportunity for all our citizens, not access to quality health care, no matter if you’re rich or poor. NO! We need to be unequivocally PROUD. That’s what will make us a great country AGAIN!  Just run around the country waving the flag and yelling WE’RE PROUD! That will solve all our problems. We have always loved our country!   Stop allowing your schools to teach the next generations otherwise.  Stop it, read what your kids are learning from the internet AND ME, Donald J. Trump! Things like our President is not an American citizen, that he’s not a Christian, but a “secret” Muslim, That our president is a Communist, that our president secretly kills kittens, roasts and serves them at state dinners!!!.  Demand your children’s teachers teach the truth, not political ideology from the leftwing hate-America first crowd or the rightwing HATE ANYONE WHO ISN’T LIKE US CROWD!.  STOP IT.  

People have said I disparage the military by saying IT IS A DISASTER.  Those same people who say this are either totally stupid or totally dishonest, or both; anybody who’s heard how I feel about our military knows that I’ve made it clear that the way we TREAT our military is a DISASTER. THEY are not.  Support our military!  Even if I pretended I was in the military while attending some rich boys military school and claimed that was just like serving in Vietnam – which I got out of serving thanks to Dad and several deferments. I was too rich and too busy screwing around with women to bother with defending my country. Let the poor schmucks who have no power go and fight. But let me also pretend I’m a big military supporter, even if I never put my own richie rich-boy's ass on the line when my country needed me.  That's for people like John McCain -- who got caught by the way. I don't like people who get caught. POWs. Okay?

THE MEDIA IS THE NEXT THING:  A Democratic country doesn’t survive with a one-sided media and that’s why FOX NEWS is such a menace to our security and survival as an informed society. But it's been a very good stenographer for me. God Bless Roger Ailes. And by the way, he's a good man who's been misunderstood. He was only complimenting the women he demeaned! I know about that, believe me.

PRIDE IN AMERICA is what Mike Pence and I will work on every single day of our administration, of both of our four year administrations, God willing.  And, talking about God;  ask yourself why Christianity and Judaism are suddenly the bad guys and Islam isn’t. Even though no one has said or done anything that comes close to asserting that, we like to keep that claim in front of you in order to keep your anger and hate and fear nice and fresh in your hearts. Because that anger and hate and fear is what has propelled me into leading not only the Republican Party but it made me your nominee for the presidency of the United States! Imagine that! Ask yourself who’s propagated that ridiculous and dangerous turn of events.  

“Merry Christmas!” used to be a happy thing to say, now we worry about who’s going to hear it?  Well, actually we don’t worry a bit about who does or does not say “Merry Christmas.” This is just another diversion for the small thinkers to whine about, and we like to keep them thinking there’s a great conspiracy afoot to stop people from saying “Merry Christmas” so we can pass laws that benefit the 1% -- see, if you’re worrying about trivial nonsense like who says or doesn’t say “Merry Christmas,” we can do whatever we want!  Happy Holidays!

So even though I’m a pretend Christion, I like to say God bless America, because you- know-who laps it up and believes I know something about the Bible, y’know like, "Two Corinthians" and such. Ha!  But my friends……Be PROUD of this great country that has done so much for me, that has allowed me to get within spitting distance of the White House while breaking every rule of decency and insulting every American except old white conservative undereducated men!

My message to America and the world is “Let them fear us once again!” That’s a good thing. Fear, divisiveness, slander, repulsive, those are GOOD words that describe my candidacy, what I believe in and what I practice. I will work HARD to make all of you ASHAMED to be AMERICANS again.

Yours in FEAR and HATE,
Donald J. Trump, Almost President of the U.S. of A.!
Believe Me!


Jerry Critter said...

Well, there is certainly an element of truth in that letter!

Anonymous said...


Good one!!!