Paul Revere by Cyrus Dallin, North End, Boston



Thursday, August 6, 2015

Donnie and the Gooper Gangs' Excellent Debate Night.

Well, it's actually not a debate; it'll be a question and answer session, and Donnie's name leads all the rest, with the incredibly gorgeous, hot, leggy, blonde scholar, Megyn Kelly, asking the queshjuns!  Step right up ladies and gentlemen, and let the comedy begin:

Some suggested questions for Megyn Kelly to ask the Gang of Goopers who will compete with each other this evening to show the American peeps who's the most brilliant candidate:

Count Dante @countdante67 Since big game hunts control overpopulation do you support shooting zoo animals?

 Tim Bartlett @wbllostsoul In your opinion, will Beetlejuice appear if you say "Benghazi" three times really fast? 

 The ReBearded Wonder @DarthWeiner75 "Show of hands, how many of you on this stage believe Santa Claus is White?"

 Shelby Kent-Stewart @ShelbyKentStewa "So when God told you to run for President, he spoke in English, right?" 

 Greg Woods @diygreg  As President, how would you protect Texas from being invaded? 

 John @linnyitssn God created the Earth in a week. Obama needed 6 years to fix the Economy. How lazy is Obama? 

Stevie @DeaconessBlues"You can get a gun easier than allergy medicines, how will you make it easier to get guns?" 9:41 PM - 3 Aug 2015 

 John @linnyitssn We all know that gay marriage causes Global Warming. What will you do to protect Israel from that?

 Atheist Pirate @Atheist_Pirate  If elected, what would you do to ensure that Jesus and Santa stay white?

My question to Dr. Ben Carson:  

Since Donald Trump, the candidate the TPers love the most and want to win the nomination, claimed that no BLACK MAN will ever win the presidency because of the horrible, terrible, Marxist, Fascist, Kenyan failed Barack Obama presidency, why are you even here tonight?  Donnie says you'll never win. Stop wasting everyone's time!

(And Donnie's correct:  WHITE MEN who were bad presidents, ruined it for other white men to be preznit!  Donnie's a genius!  And you're not, Dr. Ben.  Listen to him. He knows everything!

Another person who knows everything is the former half-term, half-wit governor of Alaska, Sarah "lipstick on a pitbull" Palin.  She says the American people love Donnie because he appeals to "Joe Six Pack," and he's not an elite!

A multi-billionaire who travels around the world in his own jet is just like "Joe Six Pack" and not an elite!  Who knew.  It must be true; Sarah said it!)


I Read It So You Don't Have To said...

I honestly think it will come down to Donald Trump and Chris Christie wrestling with a thesaurus to come up with more ways to say nothing while emitting noises from their prodigious anuses.

Ahab said...

With this crowd of contenders, that drinking game will result in alcohol poisoning by the end of the night!

Shaw Kenawe said...

I've asked my 5-year old neighbor to watch it for me. He'll understand what they have to say better, because, well, he's 5-years old and calls people he doesn't like "poopy heads." Also, he threatens to punch other kids in the face if they don't do what he says. So he'll be the perfect person to listen to and relate to the candidates.

Jerry Critter said...

There is even a warmup debate with the main event rejects a few hours earlier. That one may be even more crazy.

Cranston, RI said...

Powerless, depressed, angry, mostly male tea partyers worrying about how white or not white they are. It's come down to this sorry state of affairs, they're yelling at the world that they're not racists, they're not responsible for slavery, and they're not that white. Holy shyte! So let history record that 150 years after the civil war, the first black President naturally pushed these unhappy people over the edge of their tenuous sanity and turned their quiet racism into full apeshit poo-flinging assholery.

Kevin Robbins said...

I have to try a few to see if I qualify for the Republican nod:

Shelby Kent-Stewart @ShelbyKentStewa "So when God told you to run for President, he spoke in English, right?"

Yes, with a southern accent.

Greg Woods @diygreg As President, how would you protect Texas from being invaded?

Walls all around the state.

Stevie @DeaconessBlues"You can get a gun easier than allergy medicines, how will you make it easier to get guns?" 9:41 PM - 3 Aug 2015

Home delivery.

Les Carpenter said...

Megyn Kelly is indeed hot and vey smart. So much so she is no doubt laughing all the way to the bank or financial advisors.

BTW, for those who have not upgraded to Windows 10, it is a huge improvement over either 7 or 8!

Shaw Kenawe said...

From The New Yorker: "...fully one third of Republicans with no college education support the candidacy of Donald Trump. They support the billionaire, according to pollster Stanley Greenberg, because of their deep sense that the system is corrupt and that Trump can't be bought.

Why then would they not demand Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders, both of whom have established bona fides in that area? Besides political tribalism, perhaps it's the money, and because Trump is the perfect game-show candidate.

Trump is hardly the first Western plutocrat to venture into politics. Think of William Randolph Hearst or, more recently, Silvio Berlusconi. But both Hearst and Berlusconi benefitted from controlling media empires. Trump has earned publicity all on his own, by playing the role of that quintessential American figure the huckster.

As others have observed, the businessman he most resembles is P. T. Barnum, whose success rested on what he called “humbug,” defined as “putting on glittering appearances . . . by which to suddenly arrest public attention, and attract the public eye and ear.” Barnum’s key insight into how to arrest public attention was that, to some degree, Americans enjoy brazen exaggeration. No American businessman since Barnum has been a better master of humbug than Trump has.

There's one born every minute, and Trump has suckered his share of drought-stricken dirt farmers into thinking he's an economic rainmaker."

Shaw Kenawe said...

The women of FAUX NOOZ. I can't tell who's Megyn Kelly and who isn't. Yes, she makes a lot of money, but so do other female talking heads. And yes, she's pretty. But can you imagine a Jake Tapper or a Lester Holt posing in their Speedos showing off their packages in a magazine so that salivating women can say they're "hot?"

If that's what Megyn needed to do to draw more attention to herself because her talents as a teevee news interviewer weren't fabulous enoygh, well, good for her and her nine inch heels.

Shaw Kenawe said...

IRISYDHT, eeeew! I read that just before lunch.

Ahab, I haven't decided if I'll be doing tequila shots or drinking straight from the bottle.

Jerry, I think that's being called "The Children's Table Debate." Ammirite?

Kevin, funnier than the tweets! Thanks.

Les Carpenter said...

When was the photo shoot? Pre TV or during? Kelly is smart, perhaps it's the men who are not so much. Or is it just that it's still a "man's world?

Almost time for the debate thriller (question and answer that is) from Ohio.

Ducky's here said...

“Planned Parenthood had better hope Hillary Clinton wins this election.”
--- Booby Jindal

... because Booby would set the IRS on them. What a maroon.

Hillary's campaign manager better send him a nice gift basket.