Paul Revere by Cyrus Dallin, North End, Boston



Friday, April 15, 2016

Ted "No Dildoes!" Cruz

People! What are our priorities in the year 2016? Jobs? Climate Change? Health Care? Crumbling Infrastructure? Wall Street Banksters? Obesity? Common Core? ISIS?

If you nominate and elect Rafael Eduardo Cruz, you can be sure he'll grab hold of hard issues that  stimulate our deepest --- fears!

From Mother Jones and Wonkette:

Ted Cruz tried to be [a] dildo-yanker. 

When he was solicitor general in Texas, his team defended a Texas ban on the sale of dildos, how fked up is that? And worse, they didn’t care whether you got them from one of those Amway-style dildo parties or from the dildo counter at Cracker Barrel, ALL DILDOS ARE BAD: The filing noted: 

“The Texas Penal Code prohibits the advertisement and sale of dildos, artificial vaginas, and other obscene devices” but does not “forbid the private use of such devices.” 

The plaintiffs had argued that this case was similar to Lawrence v. Texas, the landmark 2003 Supreme Court decision that struck down Texas’ law against sodomy. But Cruz’s office countered that Lawrence “focused on interpersonal relationships and the privacy of the home” and that the law being challenged did not block the “private use of obscene devices.” 

Cruz’s legal team asserted that “obscene devices do not implicate any liberty interest.” And its brief added that “any alleged right associated with obscene devices” is not “deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions.” 

In other words, Texans were free to use sex toys at home, but they did not have the right to buy them. 

The brief insisted that Texas, in order to protect “public morals,” had “police-power interests” in “discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors.” 

There was a “government” interest, it maintained, in “discouraging … autonomous sex.” […] 

In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” 

Yes, Nation!  There is NO RIGHT in the Constatooshun to stimulate one's genitals! Ted The One-Time Texas Solicitor General stuck his nose in your...personal private behaviors, and determined that the government has an interest in discouraging people from having Sexy Time with themselves.

Tell us this isn't the sort of crusader we want in a preznit! He will very closely examine our "personal" habits to see if somewhere, somehow, someone is having a good time, AND HE'LL STOP IT!

I'm coming for your dildoes!


Dave Miller said...

I for one, and guessing many others, don't want the nose of Ted Cruz anywhere close to my junk.

I thought the GOP and conservatives were for the free market, less govt interference and personal responsibility...

Once again, yes... Unless somehow sex is involved.

anymouse said...

That fits with the overall creepiness of Cruz (and actually virtually all right wingers). Wars based on lies? No problem! Causing brain damage in children to save a few bucks on water? No problem! Adults being able to buy/use sex toys in their homes? BIG PROBLEM!!! Cannot wait till the right loses this November and we can collectively just tell them to STFU for a change.

D.K.J. said...

Get the G-d damn gummint off our backs! Cry the free market Conservatives. But we don't mind if the gummint sniffs around our naughty parts! And regulates how we make those naughty parts happy.

Seriously. Those people spend way too much time worrying about what other people do with their porkswords and cooleyhoppers.

Give it a rest Rafael!

Dave Miller said...

Blue... you're too hard on them.

At least for me, I tend to take the charitable route on the war(s). Did they lie? No, of course not. They were just wrong, and that alone should DQ them from another chance. I mean, what else can it be? Either they did lie, or they were wrong on every strategic decision leading up to the war. Since I want them assume good intent on the Dems, I must believe that for them. Ergo, they just blew it, with tragic consequences.

On the water, I can see a pol thinking he was saving money, and blowing it. I am sure the GOP folks in Michigan hate the fact that kids will forever be tainted by their water. Again, good intent, but once again, tragic consequences.

More than anything, it is empirical evidence of incompetence.

As for sex... well, not much we can say about that. Their stance is frequently informed by their religious interpretations of the bible. I may not like their conclusions, but if they want to inject their faith into the political arena, and demand others acquiesce to those views, they should not squabble when us more liberal evangelicals cite other parts of the Bible and expect the same. Stuff like love your neighbor, welcome the immigrant, sell your possessions and give to the poor, etc.

November will tell... that's for sure.

Dave Miller said...

Hey... if his name is Rafael Eduardo... where is Ted from?

The nickname for Rafael is Rafa and for Eduardo, it's Lalo...

I wonder why he uses Ted?

Shaw Kenawe said...

I guess the people who like Trump for "telling it like it is" are in a distinct minority. A majority of Americans don't like his thuggish, crass "telling it like it is."

"Seventy-eight percent of Americans, “including most Republicans, see the Republican race as discourteous”, according to a new poll by the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research.

“Only about half as many — 41 percent — say the same about the Democratic campaign.”

More bad news for Republicans in that the poll found that people disapprove of sexist statements in public, and find vulgar language and bigoted comments to be inappropriate. There goes Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and sadly even John Kasich.
The thing is, people really don’t want to hear leaders say this stuff in public. “More than 80 percent say remarks and jokes about race or about gender and sexuality are unacceptable. There is less condemnation for these types of comments made in private, but more than 6 in 10 regard them as improper there as well.”

In an analysis of the poll, the AP posited, “There are deep cultural roots to Americans’ dislike of rudeness in their leaders.”

Ducky's here said...

Cruz’s legal team asserted that “obscene devices do not implicate any liberty interest.” And its brief added that “any alleged right associated with obscene devices” is not “deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions.”
Obscene? I need a drink.

Not part of the nation's history? Bull.
They are part of human history going back to appearing on Greek vases. Never mind Chaucer and Shakespeare.
Ted is such a dummy. I think daddy Rafael had a hand in this, also.

Shaw Kenawe said...

Dave, Cruz's name in Wiki is listed as Rafael Edward Cruz. I Eduardo is Spanish (and Italian) for Edward. "Ted" is a nickname, as we know, for Edward. Don't know why he dropped "Rafael," his given name. It's beautiful and noble. But, perhaps, too "foreign" for Americans? Hey, they've had almost 8 years to get used to Barack, Rafael should have been easy!

Shaw Kenawe said...

Ducky: "They are part of human history going back to appearing on Greek vases. Never mind Chaucer and Shakespeare."

Well, yes, of course, but the devices have to do with S.E.X. and P.L.E.A.S.U.R.E. and that's more of a threat to panty-sniffers like Cruz than poisoned drinking water. Face it. If you're a Ted Cruz looking to ingratiate yourself with that crowd, always choose to go after anything to do with people's genitals. That's always a vote winner.

Jefferson's Guardian said...

No dildos? Obviously Cruz hasn't seen the latest retail sales reports. I'd venture a guess that sex toy purchases are all that's keeping the numbers from going under water.

Infidel753 said...

That scowling image is, I believe, Clint Eastwood -- from some movie of his. Clint Eastwood: the guy who talked to an empty chair during the 2012 GOP convention as a way of attacking and defeating President Obama.

Ah, yes, the man who lost an argument with an inanimate object, thus setting the stage for the even less impressive Republican debate performances we've seen this year.

If the fundies want to put a damper on illicit sexual urges, all they need to do is post that picture of Cruz everywhere. Yeesh! Everyone says he looks like "the Count" from Sesame Street, but compared to him, the Count was a GQ model.

Ducky: They are part of human history going back to appearing on Greek vases. Never mind Chaucer and Shakespeare.

Yes, but Chaucer and Shakespeare were godless pervy furriners, not red-blooded dildo-abhorring Americans like Jesus. And don't even get these guys started on the ancient Greeks.

Hey, they've had almost 8 years to get used to Barack, Rafael should have been easy!

Except that the Repubs are trying to appeal specifically to that subset of Americans who have refused all these years to get used to "Barack". Anyway, "Rafael" would be too confusing for them to spell -- "Ted" is probably the most challenging name they could manage.

What a ridiculous man. No way he'd be anywhere near the nomination if he weren't the last alternative left to Trump.

Craig said...

Bring it on Rafi. I'll make a dildo capable of shooting bullets, and blanks. What woman would want a pink revolver when she can have a Sex Pistol for personal protection and pleasure, a right guaranteed by the 2nd Amendment. I'm still working on the pocket vagina but it's going to be spectacular with the stopping power of a Glock 9.